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My Primal Experiment

Well…

What day is it? I’ve lost count!

Day 6 and Going Strong…

Day 4.5…

End of Day 2!

Day 1 Here I come!

Life Off of Paleo…

WHY!

Hello Everyone!

I have been so up and down with my eating that it’s just become ridiculous!  When I go to the grocery I buy perfect and healthy ingredients- but, when it comes time for food I am usually too tired to even want to think about it.  What happens you ask?  Well, I get something quick, fast, and easy.  Last week I had pizza 2x, a crap ton of pasta, Taco Time with lots of tater tots, chicken strips, and the list goes on.  What has made all of this heart stopping food possible?  My lack of preparation!

Preparation

If I don’t take the time before hand it’s NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!  

STEP 1 IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM

I eat crap when I am:

– Too Tired to care

– Too hungry to think

– The dishes are dirty

– Being lazy; have too much going on; stressed; the list goes on!

STEP 2 DEVELOP ALTERNATIVES 

alternative

What are some alternatives?

– Make myself a schedule for preparation

– Ask for more help all around

– Write out a food plan and a preparation plan

– Eat before I get too hungry

– Get a plan for dish duty

STEP 3 SELECT THE BEST ALTERNATIVE 

– All of the above

STEP 4 IMPLEMENT

– This seems to be the problem step!  I came up with the solutions- isn’t that enough!  NO!!!  

I think I need to sit down and write out step 2 before I can actually move to step 4.  WISH ME LUCK! 

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Oh Man What Have I done to Myself!!

Image result for hello allImage result for everyone

I don’t even know where to start!  I have thrown myself off of the healthy mountain I had created and have landed in the city dump of shitty food!  I haven’t been blogging because I have completely thrown Paleo and anything associated with the idea of being healthy out of the window.

Let’s see, I was all the way down to 192 lbs and now I am all the way back up to 207!  The question I have for myself is… Carissa, why the #%$^ do you do this to yourself?  It’s not like I don’t know it’s a bad idea- I am well aware of this fact.

At first I said that I would just ease up on how strict I was.  That did NOT work.  What have I learned about myself?  I have learned that if I don’t set a goal and a timeframe then I won’t do it.  I have been saying that “we” are going back on Paleo; going to eat healthy; going to…; going to… you get the picture.  The key phrase here is “going to”.  I now know more than ever before that “going to” won’t happen unless I change it to “are”.  We “are” eating healthy, being healthy, and living healthy.  I say “we” because I am the one who does the shopping, so, unless B wants to start down the path of grocery store mania on his days off, he’s stuck with it 😉

So, Now What?  Today is grocery shopping day- yay me!  It’s like I am at ground 0 all over again and I have to “re-learn” what Paleo is- or even just what eating healthy is.  I am finding myself thinking, “what do I eat for breakfast? what did I do for lunches before? what about dinners?”  It’s been so long now that I have to start all over.

The biggest question I am asking myself right now is “how strict do I want to be with this?”  Do I go to 100% Paleo?  Like only eating organic, grass-fed, meats?  NO sugar added to ANYTHING?  Do I schedule in cheat days?

On another note, B and I bought bicycles last week!  I am SUPER EXCITED about that 🙂

I’m on my way to greatness 🙂

Thank you Lord for the life you have provided me.

Low Iodine Diet

Hello All,

I have officially started the LID in preparation for the radiation.  The LID (low iodine diet) isn’t that difficult for me.  I feel like that is because I started eating Paleo the 1st of December and then in January I did the Whole30.  Both of which are very strict diets and the included foods are also what’s included in the LID.  The main difference is that I have to lower the amount of iodine I consume for a period of time.

http://thyca.org/download/document/229/Cookbook1pgEng.pdf

LID

lid 2 LID 1

There are obvious differences, but, all in all, they are equally as strict and that sure helps the mental side of things 🙂

I did eat some homemade iodine free popcorn- not as amazing as the popcorn B is eating right now LOL

I don’t have a shit ton to report at the moment other than I weighed in today and I have lost a total of 21 LBS 🙂 Fucking RockStar!

As always- FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!  Lord give me strength to endure the stress and looming fear.  This is out of my control and I pray that You help me find a way to allow myself to hand it all over to You.

I am such a BADASS!

Hello All,

I am so proud to say that I jumped right back on that Paleo wagon today!  It’s one day but it’s still ONE whole day!  And guess what…  I even went on a walk today AND I went to warm yoga 🙂  This is why I am such a badass!

I went to the grocery today and got a bunch of grass fed meat and my plan is to use my food saver and freeze that shit!  I still have yet to try out the thing because I don’t know how to use it.  I need to YouTube it- YouTube can teach us anything.

On to another day!  Let’s kick ass!!

As Always- FUCK YOU CANCER!!  Thank you Lord.

OH NO!

Hello All,

Time for confessions!  For whatever reason I have had very little to no willpower!  Yesterday I set out a pumpkin pie to just throw out.  Well, after I had a glass or 2 of wine I started eating it straight out of the pie dish!  What did I do today?  I had all of the best intentions in the world to start fresh today.  That did not happen.  Instead I worked on my homework all day with the idea of going to yoga in my mind.  Well, when B (my boyfriend) got home from his adventures he brought up the idea of getting some takeout Mexican food for dinner.  I wasn’t even really hungry.  At first I said no but then I let his dejected response get to me and I gave in.  That sounds like I put up some sort of a fight, but, in reality I actually gave in pretty fast.  Now, I am wishing that I hadn’t given in and I am feeling like a heffer.  I am really beginning to see and understand that food really is emotional for me.  When I eat well I feel better about myself and the longer I do it the less I desire the bad shit.  When I eat the shitty stuff I feel disappointed in myself, fat, sluggish, tired, a bit down.  It is obvious to see that eating good= happy and healthy, while, eating bad = depressed and unhealthy.  If only it were that easy to do.  The last 2 months were so easy to stick to in comparison to falling off the wagon and having to start all over.  It has now been a week of me struggling to wrap my head around getting back on track.  I need to get it out of my head that I can have all the freedom I want until the LID starts on the 11th.  As I type right now I still have the idea stuck in my head.

Other things I have noticed since my fattastic leap into the fat farm:

Severe irritation

pissing out of my ass- 😦

Feeling super fat

Feeling disappointed in myself

The last 3 on the list probably are the cause of the severe irritation- and my period isn’t helping.

Day 1 back on Paleo!

Hello All!

I am happy to say that today was a 100% Paleo day!  After 5 days of either totally non-paleo eats or partial.  I need to stick it out and just stay strict paleo until my medication has a chance to even out.  I feel like if I change too many things- like eating like shit- I won’t know how I am reacting to changing the dosage of medication.

How do I feel since my back swimming adventure in wheat, dairy, and just all around non-paleo eats?  Like shit, that’s how!  Not that I felt great before that, but, the McDonalds cheeseburgers aren’t helping the situation.  I need to give my body some time to heal.  Starting on the 11th I have to start the Low Iodine Diet- no choice there.  I have a little devil in my head that keeps telling me that I can have some non-paleo fun between now and then, but, what does this gain me?  Nothing!  On the other hand if I charge up my body with nutrient rich foods between now and then then the LID will be easier and and I will be that much healthier for the radiation.

My plan at the end of January for February 1st was to start my movement challenge.  The movement challenge is just that, a challenge to move more everyday and to add specific exercises a few times a week.  I have been so overwhelmed and stressed with everything that has been going on that I just haven’t done it.  So, here’s my plan for this week- Wednesday (tomorrow) take a walk, Thursday yoga, Friday yoga.  Thursday’s and Friday’s are my days off so these will be my main movement days.  At work I will add a few brisk walks here and there.  The nice thing about the LID is that it is very close to the Paleo diet in the fact that it is all natural and nothing processed.  The LID includes some things that Paleo does not, but, that’s simple enough.

Overall, I am getting my ass back on track!  What do I want in the long run: superior health; mental clarity; energy; strength.  How am I going to get there? Continue to eat nutrient rich food to fuel my body and add move movement to my day.  This is where it starts!

Energy- not debilitating but definitely very tired

Mood- not terrible but a little edge

Mental clarity- not terrible but still foggy

1st day of cycle

As always- FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!   Thank you Father, I am so blessed.

Feb 1st!

Hello All,

What have learned about myself these last few days?  Well, I have learned that I do not stick to healthy eating if I don’t have it set in my mind that that is what I am doing.  Without a specific experiment or challenge going on I find that I don’t put any boarders on what I allow myself to eat.  I did “ok” today but I did eat some tater tots.  The question I need to ask myself is what did I get out of eating the tater tots?  Did they fuel my body- not in the right way I’m sure.  Did they give me energy- no.  Did they make me feel better physically- NO!  Did they make my mind sharper- No.  Did they make me feel good about myself- NO!  So, what did they do for me?  They went into my mouth, I tasted the wonderful grease, felt the crispies crunch between my teeth, and I tasted all of the spicy salsa, salty salt, greasy grease, and all of the other crap.  There is not a single thing that I can list that actually benefits me and my body.  To tell you the truth, I don’t even know why I ate them.  I brought lunch and at that point I wasn’t even really hungry.  So, I have also learned that it’s not really hunger that drives my food desires.  When I start to think about a not so good for me food I start to picture it and think about how it tastes.  I really don’t think it’s about fulfilling hunger but more so the act of actually eating it.

Bonus- I am still NOT smoking!!!  Man I am just a BADASS!

Today was ok- not great.

Energy- good until I ate the tater tots and then I fell fast

Mood- not terrible but irritable

Mental clarity- good- not great

As Always- FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!  Lord thank you for allowing me to have the life I have.

Jan 31st- How Did My WHole30 End?

Hello All,

So, I made it to day 28 like I had decided on.  I cut my experiment a little short.  On the 29th- Thursday- I jumped head first into the piglets troff of disgustingly delicious, make my ass fat, food!  I ate a GIANT burrito smothered in melted cheese and wonderful sauce.  It was filled with spanish rice, beans, carne asada, and some other shit I’m certain of.  I also partook in the delectable sour cream and guacamole.  Let me tell you… IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!  I would have done a backstroke in the chips and salsa if I could have! MMMmmmmmm!  After that I didn’t notice much of a difference in how I felt- other than being tired, but, what’s new?  That was early in the day and we got hungry again!  I drove us to the OH SO BAD place of sin.  I pulled into the drive through of McDonalds!  I ordered 3 cheeseburgers, 1 large french fry, and a hot fudge sundae… all for MYSELF!  I was able to eat all but 1 burger!  As of right now, I haven’t noticed a huge difference in my mood, but, my energy is low and I am having a LOT of body aches.

I have to start a LID on the 10th- Low iodine Diet.  It’s super strict and no slipping.  This one is medical and I will only Fuck myself if I don’t follow it to the T.  This is going to me my next challenge/ experiment.  I am wanting to start an experiment of movement or working out.  I think for now I am going to focus on getting my medication leveled out and the radiation.  Maybe I will add 1 day a week of extra movement and then next month start a real challenge of kicking my ass and eating Paleo.

Whole30- I am so happy that I took on this challenge.  I have learned so much about myself and my own willpower.  I am a freaking badass!  I quit smoking, didn’t drink, ate clean, and did it all with a crazy fucking life!  I am so proud of myself 🙂  I still want to smoke but I am not sure if that will ever really go away.  I have been having a glass of wine or some a night since “The Fall” on Thursday which I think might be making me more tired.  If it wasn’t for the Whole30 I wouldn’t have pushed myself to go 30 days without smoking and I would still be smoking now.  With drinking it is much more difficult to not smoke but I’m doing it 🙂

I’ll return with the low iodine diet.  I was going to weigh and measure myself on the 28th but I ran out of time and then I dove into the cesspool of shitty food.  The GOOD news about me NOT posting all of that info is that I just don’t care.  I know I lost weight and inches but that’s not my focus.  If I feel like shit but I’m thin than what does it matter?

As Always- FUCK YOU CANCER!  Lord I thank you for the body you gave me!

Day 27 Down!

Hello All,

I have held strong!  I have WANTED to CHEAT SOOOO BADLY!  But, I am proud to say that I have held strong!  I have decided that on Thursday, even though it’s only the 29th, I am going go to dinner with my boyfriend.  I have a design call about an hours drive away and it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere and that just happens to be in a location of one of our favorite Mexican places!  I am excited, however, I know really understand what they mean in the book (It Starts With Food) when they say that we are emotionally addicted to food because of the way it makes us feel.  I thought BS when I read that but now that I am struggling because I have been so low on energy I find myself CRAVING certain foods.  When I imagine these foods I have realized that I associate a specific feeling with each food.  Mostly COMFORT!  Literally, I realized this yesterday when I was thinking about these amazing potato skins and I had this image of me eating them and it wasn’t as much about the taste as it was what the taste provoked inside of me.  At the beginning of all of this I thought “No, I eat the bad shit because it tastes amazing, not because it triggers some shit in my brain to make me feel good.”

This experiment has been SO eye opening!  I have learned so much about what smoking does inside of my body; I don’t have to or need to smoke; I have a shit ton of willpower; sweetener either natural or fake is everywhere; what I eat and put into my body dictates how my body absorbs my medications; food is directly related to my emotions; I know that I have shed some LBS; I have learned a lot of other shit I am sure- even if I haven’t realized it just yet.

The last few days:

Saturday I felt like shit and as the day went on I got more energy

Sunday I felt a bit better than Saturday

Monday I felt the best out of the 3 days

Today I have been just tired and super low energy

Energy- LOW

Mood- up and down a bit irritable

Mental clarity- not terrible but not great

Overall, I’m getting there, but, I still have a long ways to go.  My goal is to know my body and works for it and what doesn’t. I want to see how healthy I can be 🙂

As always- FUCK YOU CANCER!  Lord I pray for strength and energy to push through all of the obstacles.  Thank you Father.

Whole30 Day 12 – dinner experiment is a winner!

Looks good 🙂

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